Season 4, Episode 10 | Authentic Circles Only: Building Real Support in Sobriety

Anna Herigo [0:06]
Welcome back, friends. Breathe in. Breathe out. You're listening to Season 4, Episode 10 of The Sobriety Crew. With me today are Jane Marie, Chucky Chip, Marcus the Motivator, Curious Joe, and B.U., all here to share wisdom and encouragement. And now, here's Daniel, your Sobriety Buddy, ready to guide today's conversation. Together, we're exploring the quiet power of real support, and why your sobriety deserves nothing less than a circle that reflects your worth.

Daniel [0:40]
Hello, everyone. It's Daniel. Thank you for tuning in. As I've been walking this sobriety journey, one lesson keeps coming back to me. The loudest cheers aren't always the most loyal. It's the steady, consistent people who quietly show up that make the biggest difference. And here's what I've come to understand: sobriety has to be for me first. That's what keeps me grounded and moving forward, even when the path isn't easy.

What I've learned is that letting go isn't just about people. Sometimes it feels like letting go of an old version of yourself. And that's not easy. But I realized that choosing sobriety meant choosing growth, choosing life — even if it meant stepping away from someone else's comfort.

Jane Marie [1:44]
There's actually research to back up what you felt, Daniel. Studies show that people in early recovery thrive when they're surrounded by consistent, authentic support. It's like having a sober safety net. The more genuine connections you have, the better your chances of staying grounded and resilient. And yes, it can hurt to let go of relationships that feel familiar, but drain you.

Daniel [2:08]
That's real. Letting go felt a bit like breaking up with an old version of myself, not just with a person. But I came to understand that choosing sobriety meant choosing my own life, even if it meant stepping away from someone else's comfort.

Curious Joe [2:29]
So, here's what I'm wondering. How do you even know when someone's cheerleading is conditional? What's the line between a friend who's genuinely concerned and someone who just wants you to stay small?

Jane Marie [2:45]
Great question, Joe. One sign is when someone's supportive only when it doesn't challenge their habits or comfort. If you setting boundaries or saying, “I don't drink anymore,” makes them awkward or defensive, that's a red flag. True friends adjust and grow with you.

Chucky Chip [3:01]
Okay, I'm going to nerd out for a second. Think of your social circle like your phone's home screen. You only keep the apps you use and trust. Anything that eats up data or glitches gets deleted, right? So why keep apps — people — who drain your battery? Update your circle like you update your OS. Choose supportive apps, ditch the bloatware, and please, no sideloading sketchy vibes. Your system, your sobriety, deserves better.

Daniel [3:31]
That's a solid analogy. I've had people in my life who felt like malware, draining my energy and keeping me from running at my best.

Marcus the Motivator [3:43]
Let me jump in real quick. To everyone listening: saying no is one of the bravest acts you can do. I had friends who'd text me, “Just one drink, come on.” It took a minute, but I learned that my no was actually a huge yes to myself. Every sober choice I make is a celebration. Celebrate your quiet wins too. They matter.

Daniel [4:05]
Amen to that. Sometimes the most radical choice you can make is simply to stay home and drink water. H2O on the rocks. Stirred. Not shaken.

Curious Joe [4:19]
Another question. How do you set boundaries without making it awkward or losing people completely? I think a lot of us fear being alone more than we fear staying with the wrong people.

Daniel [4:33]
Man, I've been there. Honestly, it starts with honesty. I had to tell a close friend, “I care about you, but I can't be around drinking right now.” Was it awkward? Yeah. Did some people drift away? Definitely. But the space it created allowed healthier friendships to grow. And guess what? Some friends respected it and chose to meet me where I was. That felt amazing.

Jane Marie [5:05]
The way you phrase things matters. Use “I” statements: “I need to focus on my recovery,” or “I'm not drinking anymore.” It's less about judging them and more about protecting your path.

Daniel [5:18]
Think of your boundaries like firewall rules. You're not shutting down the whole Internet of life. You're simply blocking the harmful traffic that doesn't belong in your system.

Marcus the Motivator [5:30]
Exactly. The right friends will respect your boundaries because they want to see your system thrive. And if someone gets upset about your sobriety, it's a sign they weren't truly supporting you in the first place.

B.U. [5:41]
I want to speak to anyone out there who feels torn. Sobriety is an act of radical self-love. Choosing your healing doesn't make you selfish — it makes you wise. Being yourself means aligning with people who see, honor, and uplift that true version of you.

When you release the friendships that keep you in a loop of self-sabotage, you make room for deeper, more authentic connections. It's okay to grieve what you're letting go of. It's also okay to be excited about what you're stepping into.

Daniel [6:13]
Whew. Thank you for that. I needed that reminder. Sometimes we forget that sobriety isn't just about not drinking. It's about choosing who we become and who we walk with.

As we wrap up, here's what I want you to remember: your worth isn't defined by the volume of applause. It's defined by the quiet presence of those who stand with you when nobody's watching. Protect your energy. Set your boundaries. And trust that the right people will respect them. Your sobriety is precious. Guard it fiercely.

Marcus the Motivator [6:57]
Celebrate every step. Whether it's one day or one decade sober, you're doing a big, brave thing. We're proud of you.

Chucky Chip [7:04]
And don't forget to update those friend lists. Your operating system deserves top-tier support.

Jane Marie [7:11]
If you need resources or want to learn more about building healthy networks, check our show notes. We've got you.

Curious Joe [7:16]
Ask yourself this week: who lifts me up, who drains me? Sit with those answers. You deserve truth.

B.U. [7:25]
Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Be you. We're here with you, always.

Anna Herigo [7:32]
Until next time, may your path be clear and your heart full. We're rooting for you. Take care of yourself, and keep moving forward.